An Open Letter To Miley Cyrus

Dear Miley,

Let's get one thing straight here. I've never seen an episode of Hannah Montana in my life. I was a Lizzie McGuire/Even Stevens girl all the way. Hannah was after my time. The concept actually freaked me out a little. My college boyfriend had a young cousin (like 5 or 6) who LOVED her some Hannah Montana, so I had the pleasure of hearing a song or two, and that was all I needed to know I did not like your terrible, terrible music.

When Party In the USA came out, my opinion on you totally changed. I spent Labor Day weekend 2009 in Wisconsin with college friends on a boat, drinking beer and listening to that song on repeat. That trip was one of my favorites- as is the song.

You thought I was kidding, didn't you?

When I visited my best friend in LA the following Labor Day, I stood at the baggage claim at LAX singing in my head about my cardigan. I was still not over the song. FYI- Labor Day 2014 recently passed and I STILL love that song. It might be my wedding song. Just kidding, but only because J would never let that fly.

Note the cardigan

So lately you've been getting a lot of ish about being a weirdo. First, you cut off all of your hair and everyone hated it. I, however, love it, because it looks just like my idol, Robyn. (Also ROBYN WHEN ARE YOU GOING ON TOUR AGAIN I MISS YOU SO). Also, whatever girl, you're gorgeous and you only look better as a blonde because DUH. 

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Then you did that whole thing with Robin Thicke on the VMAs and everyone freaked out, because we live in a culture where a grown, married man can be a total perv with an under rager and she's the one who gets all the crap, but whatever. The outfit choice was terrible, and obviously on purpose. And it got people talking. Which is exactly what you need a week before your album drops and anyone who can't see that is a complete idiot. 

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So then Bangerz came out, and I obviously bought it on iTunes immediately. And then I forgot about it, because life happened. But you know what? I've had a chance to listen to it AND I LOVE IT.  You've gotten open letters from everyone from Sade to Sufjan, and a shoutout from Jay-Z in one of the best songs of the year. Anyone who says you're failing at life can go shave their back now. You keep doing your thang, girlfriend. Because my 26 year old self is totally looking at you for inspiration, even if you're not old enough to legally drink (are you? I don't know how old Miley is).

Seriously. Do Your Thang.