You guys. Stop it.

Last week, it was "how long have you been on Facebook" (answer: wayyyyyyy too long). Now, Time Tech has come out with a "fun" little prediction app of when we should all go ahead and get married. The methodology is based off of the median age of any of your married/engaged/civil union-ed/domestic partnershipped Facebook friends. This is problematic for various reasons:

• The app can only analyze the relationship status of friends who list their full birthdays on the site and who actually puts their birth year? (I just checked- apparently I do- 1987 FTW!)
• A good chunk of the marrieds on Facebook are in fake relationships, i.e. married to their best friend, pets, etc. because why the hell would you bother putting "So and so is Married to so and so" when your friends should PROBABLY be aware to whom you are married?
• The app considers an Engaged status as married, which, duh. Engaged does not = Married. If it did I'd be divorced-ZING!

But obviously, I went ahead and did it because this is SCIENCE and factual.

^ This one's for you, Ingrid

My results are above. Consider this my official Save the Date: April 16th, 2015- your choice of chicken or fish.

But seriously. This gives me approximately five days to boyfriend up, two months after to get engaged, and one year to plan a wedding (which will be in April, in Idaho, so bring your snowshoes!) So- all comic book reading, vans wearing, music loving, sarcastic jews- hit a girl up! (Stop being fictional, Seth Cohen!) Does anyone know if Jason Schwartzman is single? 

The moral of the story- Facebook friends, I'm talking to you. Slow your roll. I can't afford all of these weddings. Merci Beaucoup.